Ramadan Without the Guilt: Finding Joy in Worship

Why Ramadan isn’t about being perfect for one month but consistent all year.

The moment Sha’ban arrives, you can almost feel the excitement in the air—Muslims everywhere begin preparing for the blessed month of Ramadan. And if I said I didn’t share that same excitement, I’d be lying. But a few years ago, that excitement came with something else too—a tiny sense of dread.

Not because I didn’t love Ramadan, but because I would set overwhelming goals, pouring my time and energy into a version of Ramadan that, in reality, was impossible for me to maintain. I convinced myself that a “good Muslim” would:

• Finish the Qur’an at least five times

• Recite Surah Yaseen and Surah Rahman daily

• Wake up for Tahajjud every single night

• Do 40 sets of morning and evening adhkar

• Give charity every day

• Pray every nafl salah

• Be in a constantly good and happy mood

• Attend every taraweeh at the mosque

• Cook iftar for the masjid community

  The Muslim Mom's Corner is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

The whole shabang—I thought I had to do it all. And when I inevitably failed to meet these unrealistic expectations, I was left feeling disappointed, frustrated, and full of guilt. I felt like I wasn’t a “good enough” Muslim, and that feeling slowly started stealing the joy of Ramadan from me.

That’s when I took a step back and reflected. Ramadan isn’t supposed to be a source of stress or a measure of perfection. It’s meant to bring peace, gratitude, and a deeper connection to Allah. Over time, I made some intentional changes, and they have completely transformed the way I experience Ramadan.

Finding Balance in My Ramadan Routine

Now, I approach Ramadan with a mindset of balance—between worship, responsibilities, and rest. My days still revolve around my children—their school schedules, extracurricular activities, and everything in between. I still juggle work, my team, and ongoing projects. But instead of feeling like I have to choose between my responsibilities and my faith, I’ve found ways to weave ibadah into my daily life.

When I’m in the kitchen preparing iftar, I listen to the Qur’an or an Islamic podcast, allowing myself to reflect and learn while I cook. When I’m driving my kids to school or sports practice, we do zikr together—reciting surahs, listening to nasheeds, or simply having conversations that strengthen our understanding of Islam. These small yet meaningful practices help me maintain a spiritual rhythm throughout the day, even in the midst of my busy schedule.

Letting Go of Perfection & Focusing on What Matters

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to take Ramadan one day at a time. I no longer pressure myself to become the “perfect” Muslim for just one month. Instead, I focus on sustainability—what can I do consistently without overwhelming myself?

Rather than setting extreme goals that leave me feeling drained, I now set realistic, achievable goals that still push me to grow in my faith. After all, Islam is about consistency—not overexerting ourselves some days and doing nothing on others.

Here are some changes that have helped me cultivate a more peaceful and fulfilling Ramadan:

• Planning my meals in advance so I don’t stress about what to cook

• Staying hydrated to avoid burnout and exhaustion

• Prioritizing rest so I have energy for both ibadah and daily responsibilities

And most importantly, I have learned to ask for help—because just like my family, I, too, am fasting, and I don’t have to do everything alone.

My Ramadan Goals This Year

Instead of overwhelming myself with unrealistic expectations, I’m focusing on smaller, meaningful goals that I know I can maintain:

📖 Reciting at least one page of Qur’an daily

🙏 Praying Tahajjud at least twice a week

🕌 Performing all Sunnah prayers

💰 Giving $1 to charity every day (because even small deeds count!)

📿 Reciting Surah Mulk after Isha

📚 Memorizing one new surah (probably a short one from the last chapter of the Qur’an)

✍️ Sharing Islamic knowledge on my Substack, even if it’s just a short note instead of a full newsletter.

A Reminder for This Ramadan and Beyond

If this journey resonates with you, know that you are not alone. Ramadan isn’t about proving anything to anyone—it’s about self-reflection, sincerity, and doing your best within your capacity. But one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the years is that being a good Muslim isn’t about going above and beyond for one month and then settling into mediocrity for the remaining eleven. Islam is a way of life, not just a seasonal commitment.

Yes, Ramadan is a special time, a month of heightened spirituality and devotion, but we shouldn’t limit our faith to just these 30 days. The real goal is to establish consistency—to build habits that last long after the month has passed. Instead of overwhelming yourself with an increase in ibadah that disappears once Eid arrives, focus on something deeper this Ramadan: understanding your faith.

Instead of only increasing the number of recitations or worship acts without reflection, take the time to learn—to understand what Islam truly is and what it means to be a Muslim. Being born into Islam doesn’t automatically make your iman strong. True faith comes from knowledge—from knowing why you are a Muslim, from understanding the principles and values of Islam, and from continuously striving to strengthen your connection with Allah through both worship and wisdom.

The more you learn about Islam, the better a Muslim you naturally become. True devotion isn’t about perfection for one month; it’s about knowing, understanding, and applying Islam in your life every day. Knowledge fuels faith, and faith, when nurtured consistently, brings us closer to Allah.

So this Ramadan, I encourage you—rather than just focusing on increasing worship in random bursts—focus on deepening your understanding of your faith. Build habits that will sustain your iman not just for one month but for a lifetime. That is what will truly strengthen your relationship with Allah.

Salam dear readers,

As we continue this beautiful journey together, I want to make sure that the content I create truly benefits you. I’m considering offering exclusive, premium content for paid subscribers, and your feedback would mean the world to me!

Your support and engagement have always been a huge motivation, and I want to ensure that if I move forward with this, it brings value to you. So, I’d love to hear your thoughts! Please take a moment to vote in the quick poll below—it won’t take more than a few seconds, and it will help shape the future of this space.

JazakAllah khair for being part of this community! Your support, whether through reading, sharing, or subscribing, truly means everything. 💕

📢 Click to Vote 👈

💬 Feel free to reply with any thoughts on what kind of exclusive content would make a paid subscription worth it for you!